~This post comes from the last entry from the blog that Devon and I have run for the last 2 years together. I am including this under the “News” category since it is newsworthy and offers an explanation as to how this new SameSides blog was born.~
Every few months or so, I take the time to re-read all of my writings on this blog. From a selfish standpoint, I like to see how my writing has morphed and improved. It has been exactly 2 years since the inception of this blog, when Devon and I were interviewed in Reuters regarding mistakes divorced people make. After we were interviewed a few attorney friends of ours, who had been bugging me to start a blog about amicable divorce so they could link their clients to it, absolutely insisted that I do it. So I did. And it came together nicely with very little effort.
And then the Universe started taking glitter dumps on us. Published articles, interviews, speaking engagements and people seeking a little advice from time to time. It’s really cool to see bitter lemons being made into refreshing lemonade.
As I look back at our writings (Devon has contributed, too), I think that we have exhausted all the topics we can regarding amicable divorce and getting along with your ex. Our blog has started to reflect more of our personal story regarding the LGBT community, exes coming out of the closet (known as Mixed Orientation Marriage or MOM), and the Church’s handling of these topics. Getting through that stuff in our own personal lives shows the added layer of divorce, coming out and how the Church can really make heart-wrenching issues even more insurmountable.
I am preparing myself to start a new blog that is dedicated solely to the LGBT community, Mixed Orientation Marriages and the Church. I need to stretch myself by tackling my own faith issues with the debris that was caused when my world crumbled, as many of those who were close to us (not all) simply let both Devon and me go from their lives who claimed to love as Jesus commanded us to do. It was ugly. It was hurtful. And I’m not alone.
The inspiration behind me finally deciding to branch out from this blog came in the form of some information I received last night. I have been waiting with bated breath for a few months for this news.Pastor Danny, whose teenage son came out of the closet, sought with all the strength he could muster to find a new way of handling homosexuality in the church. And you know what? So did his entire congregation, who were Southern Baptist affiliated. It was scary. It was stressful. It caused factions. I’m sure that relationships were severed, which can be heartbreaking. But they chose to seek to understand as much as they could from both the and A and B sides.
And Love prevailed.
It is the first true example of change happening (that I have seen anyway) within the church body by listening, waiting, praying and truly grappling with the idea that being gay is NOT a choice, that scripture has been taken out of context, and that the command to love without strings attached cannot happen through ex-gay therapy or staying married to help the gay person go straight.
Score one for Love.
And now there is an excellent example for other churches to follow!
Who knows? Maybe someday I will feel comfortable enough to step inside a Church again. I’m not ready yet, but as people from within the walls of the Church decide to face their paradigms of thinking instead of rejecting anything that doesn’t jive with their ideas, there will rise a healthier Church; one that Jesus would be proud of.
Kudos to you, Pastor Danny, your family, your son and your congregation for not allowing FEAR to lead you. There is no place for fear in Love. Facing the truth by looking through the monocle of Love produces beauty and healing.
There is no fear where love exists. Rather, perfect love banishes fear, for fear involves punishment, and the person who lives in fear has not been perfected in love. 1 John 4:18
Here is the link to Pastor Danny’s open letter of explanation and the decision of his church. You can also view a few videos pertaining to their process at that link.
Be on the lookout for my new blog site. I think I’m gonna call it “SameSides: Your Spouse is Gay. What now?”
Love To You and Welcoming Change,
The Reese’s and Their Pieces