Unbecoming Emily

There’s just something about my daily thankfulness posts on The Book of Faces that really gives me clarity and perspective.  There’s a part of me that wishes I could go back in time and be this person of perspective during those tumultuous years after Devon’s Big Reveal.  But then, it wouldn’t work out the way it has, would it?  Of course not.  I’d be like that episode in Family Guy where Brian and Stewie have to keep going back in time and fixing the mess they created.  Don’t be Brian.  Don’t be Stewie.  Be who you are in this moment, and look forward to a day where you can see with clarity that you, too, are Unbecoming the very person you are meant to be.  Along the way, hold on to the positives when you can and find something to be thankful for, even if it is the fact that your two feet were placed on the floor from your bed, after the realities of your life hit you square in the schnoz, to keep moving forward to face your day, for good or ill.  Much love, Emily.

BrianStewieBackInTime

Day 312: November 21, 2014

Thankfulness for Unbecoming

I’m not talking about being unbecoming with my words, dress or attitude, as in being offensive. I do that enough on a daily basis, naturally. I’m talking about a different way of thinking.

This image said it all to me. It reminded me of myself and of people, especially those who (like me) made their lives center around another person and THEIR identity, and became who they thought they wanted to be with someone else in it.

UnbecomingIsTheJourney

It has been so good to be alone. Yes, I had a relationship since Devon, a very serious one, and while I knew a little more about who I am before I met him, I didn’t REALLY know. While I sometimes get a woe-is-me attitude about not having someone in my life, when I look at the scheme of things, I really am blessed to get to figure out who I am by unraveling the person I thought I wanted to be or was becoming… without another person in my life.

Let’s just say it this way: If I hadn’t have found out about my ex, if I hadn’t have been cheated on by my past boyfriend, I wouldn’t have figured out the true me. I haven’t arrived yet, but the journey (despite the ka-ka) has been all worth it.

I love myself… now. I have learned who I am, and without having tried to be someone I am not, I wouldn’t have gotten to where I am today.

Man, that sounds confusing. I hope it makes some sense to you. If it does, then you probably have gone through some stuff that caused you to understand this.

I’m still figuring out who I am, but the core of me is recognized by my intellect. I am better equipped to let go of things and people that clash with that core, and I can let go with confidence, knowing that if I compromise who I am at my core, I will be right back to square one.

I don’t ever want to be in that square again.

So, comment and let me know if you get it. Let me know if you, too, are unbecoming. It’s a great place to be, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.

Love, Unbecoming Emily

P.S. Here is the quote by Mark Twain that I hang my hat on often: “There are no accidents, all things have a deep and calculated purpose; sometimes the methods employed by Providence seem strange and incongruous, but we have only to be patient and wait for the result: then we recognize that no others would have answered the purpose, and we are rebuked and humbled.”

marktwain

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